the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
