I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I made him laugh his dick is mine
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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