Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
