lets start a swedish sibling band together
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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