A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
