marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
