yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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