'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
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