I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
