have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
sarcasm needs its own font
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
