He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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