I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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