smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
