Im at strip club and am horny
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
