just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
