Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
