I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
