Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
