put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize