he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
