So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
