Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
