i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize