So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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