Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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