we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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