Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
