remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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