Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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