I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
