after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
