boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
