Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
