I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
His hands were made for my vagina.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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