The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
