So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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