well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
