I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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