I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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