how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Say something about gay babies.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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