Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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