Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
