based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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