I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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