I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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