Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
