well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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