All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
