You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
