Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
