I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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