why didn't you poke me back
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
