They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
