Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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