Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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