Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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