the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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