can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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