Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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