Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
