Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
