we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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