i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
